Have you wondered where I’ve been? Missed me? Well, of course, you have!
I’ve been hard at work on the campaign trail. No, I won’t tell you which candidate – because I don’t want to influence your vote. But I will tell you this. No matter who wins, you can be sure that:
◊ Whichever candidate is elected, it will be the one you hate the most. I’m working hard to make that happen.
◊ Your personal financial situation will not get better and in all likelihood will get worse, especially if you are in the Middle Class. I have no sympathy – not my fault you’re not rich like me.
◊ You know that health insurance plan you were all excited about just a few years ago? Well, it’s about to become way more expensive with way less coverage. Suck it up, all you little people.
◊ Want to feel safe in your own home? That’s going to be a thing of the past, unless you can afford a mansion like mine. Those of you in the suburbs? Time to start building that bunker. But good luck affording the supplies to stock it.
◊ Speaking of which – those second and third jobs you’re counting on to make ends meet are going to be harder and harder to find because there will be so much competition. You want fries with that?
And to all those eagerly awaiting the opportunity for that write-in vote: Be sure to take your own pencil into the booth ’cause we’re not providing them. Just sayin’.
Yes, the campaign is coming to an end, but the fun is about to begin. I can hardly wait.
[Anyone who wishes to comment may do so on this post, or you may email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com]
Image by Cordelia’s Mom