CookieCakes went shopping today – for an interview suit, no less! Really, even if she could find one to cover that mammoth stomach and ass of hers, who’s going to hire someone her age? And who needs an interview suit to apply for a job selling burgers and fries?
While CookieCakes was out indulging her fantasies, I decided to sneak over and use her computer. I could, of course, use my own computer, but service is somewhat spotty in my affluent neck of the woods. CookieCakes lives in one of the post-war suburbs where the houses are all on top of each other, but at least internet is dependable.
I have some catching up to do here in the blogosphere.
Apparently, Vicky has again invited me to participate in one of the bloggy chain letters – this time, she wants me to do the Four Facts Survey. Either she didn’t bother reading my post responding to her Creative Blogger Award, or she’s simply too stupid to understand that I don’t wish to align myself with mere mortals. Or, maybe she’s just a little bit evil … who knows?
I’ll go with “just a little bit evil” – which makes me kind of like her. For that reason, I’ve decided to answer her silly questions:
Four names people call me other than my real name: Really, Vicky? You know there’s only one Not CM! I will NOT be called by any other name.
Four Jobs I’ve Had: Can’t answer this one. I’ve never had to work. Life is good!
Four Movies I’ve Watched More Than Once: Why on earth would I do anything more than once? I’d much rather simply buy a studio and hire four actors/actresses to create a new movie, just for me.
Four Books Or Authors I’d Recommend: I’ll let you know after I’ve published my own book. I will recommend me highly. If CookieCakes ever gets off her fat ass (which won’t fit into that interview suit, don’t forget) and writes her first book, maybe I would recommend her, too. Anything she writes is bound to be a hoot to anyone who has a brain – sort of like watching a clod-hopper try to figure out which fork to use at an upscale dinner.
Four Places I’ve Lived: in CookieCakes’ mind, in her house torturing Puppy Cody, hiding in a tree in her backyard (Puppy Cody thinks I’m a squirrel, the silly dog), and of course, returning to my own peaceful mansion after I’ve had my fun.
Four Places I’ve Visited: See above. But don’t forget, I also went along on CookieCakes’ dinner with Archon, lunch with Amy Rose, and her visit in Pittsbugh with Anne Belov. I probably could have done better with all three, but I wasn’t asked.
Four Things I’d Rather Be Doing Right Now: torturing Puppy Cody, lounging at my spa, eating somewhere other than a burger-and-fries place (CookieCakes really needs to aim a little higher) – and what I’d really like to do right now is to sneak into the closet where CookieCakes hid that bottle of fine Bordeaux wine (which she is aging for the next two years) and open it NOW. That would not only annoy CookieCakes, it would also upset that silly daughter of hers who wasted that fine Bordeaux on such a low-life as CookieCakes.
Four foods I don’t like: burgers, fries – and anything else prepared and eaten by the impoverished throngs. If it’s not gourmet and very, very expensive, you can keep it.
Four of my favorite foods: Anything that doesn’t have calories. CookieCakes may have a fat head to go along with her fat ass, but if I were to grow too large, I might not fit in her head any more. What a tragedy that would be!
Four Shows I Watch: TV is so plebeian. I’d rather lounge at my spa.
Four Things I’m Looking Forward To This Year: Playing with ShadowPaws; torturing Puppy Cody; finding a way to make Teddy Rosalie disappear; watching CookieCakes drive herself crazy trying to find a suit she can fit into.
Four Things I’m Always Saying: Sorry, I can’t publish any of that on a public forum.
Thank the Lord, I’m finally done with this silly project.
Vicky, I intend to get even with you, real soon.
[Anyone who wishes to comment may do so on this post, or you may email me at email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org]
Image by Cordelia’s Mom