My new cat has a name – ShadowPaws.
And ShadowPaws is already looking for trouble – a cat after my own heart. I didn’t even know that ShadowPaws was familiar with email, but that cat had no problem jumping in at the end of this exchange:
Allow me to introduce myself. I am a former resident of my nation’s capital – Canberra, Australia. I recently moved to Melbourne to be with a like-minded comrade. Although she is human she is surprisingly interesting. She is a fan of both the red and giant panda. It is through her connection to the giant panda that I read about your plight.
As a former Canberran, I am well versed in political machinations. May I suggest that the van full of peacekeeping bears is driven straight over the border into Mexico and left there. I hear a very influential man is about to build a wall separating that country from yours. Hopefully said bears will be stranded! If this does not work I have plenty of ideas. We in Australia have many ways of dealing with unwanted “visitors” – especially customs evading dogs! As for pesky vampires, I have a secret that may assist in dealing with Vlad. Please let me know if you would like assistance.
Your cat-like friend,
Jamala the Red Panda.
Please excuse me for my tardy reply. She WithThe Food has been very careful to put away the computer so that I couldn’t get into any mischief hmph! I wish she paid that much attention to pandas. They are much more troublesome than I am. Uh oh! I think I hear her coming. Better scamper.
I do like your idea about sending the bears in the truck to Mexico.
We’ll talk again soon as I can get online.
Thank you for responding. It is a shame that SheWithTheFood is so restrictive with your computer time. Perhaps you could take a leaf out of our Antipodean book. If our “leaders” get too out of hand we simply replace them! SheWithTheFood may be less restrictive if she feared being deposed. I am sure there would be many who would love to cater to your cat needs with the appropriate amount of servitude and gratitude while deluding themselves that they are your “leader”.
I must be off – I have to check who our current leader is. It has been weeks since the last coup.
Looking forward to our continued alliance.
Jamala the Red Panda
Dear Mehitabel and Jamala,
A coup? I am so in! Can I be an officer or something so I can stomp on Teddy Rosalie and Puppy Cody? And give Vlad orders to go back to England and stay there? Can I get some kind of authority over the Peacekeeping Bears?
Eagerly awaiting my call to action,
Aren’t they wonderful animals? I can hardly wait to see what happens next.
And let all of this be our little secret, ok?
[Anyone who wishes to comment may do so on this post, or you may email me at email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org]